


Identity

by thatwriterlady



Series: 30 Day Writing Challenge 2017 [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acting, Alternate Universe - High School, Attraction, Character In The Closet, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Drama Teacher Dean, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Freshman Dean, Gay Male Character, Growing Up, M/M, Parent Castiel, Senior Castiel, Struggling with Identity, Theater - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12856287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: Freshman Dean has a crush on Senior Cas, but the older boy barely seems to acknowledge his existence.  He deals with it though and gets on with his life.Getting his start in theater, it gives him a passion that only grows as the years go on.  He finds himself back at his old high school taking over as the drama teacher, and he loves his job.  When a new teacher shows up, it drags up a lot of old memories and even more old feelings when he realizes not everything was left in the past.





	Identity

**Author's Note:**

> The word for today was "Skinny". I do hope you like this one. I like how it turned out. Enjoy!

**Day 24~**

**Skinny~**

Dean flexed in front of the mirror and groaned in frustration.  He’d been trying for months now to bulk up, to add some muscle to his frame but he wasn’t seeing any difference.  There was no way they’d even consider him for the football team if he didn’t put some weight on, specifically _muscle_.  A knock at the door made him drop his arms and he turned to see his mom standing there.

 

“Are you still trying to lift weights?”  She asked.

 

“I want to join the football team this year.  They’ll knock me over though if I don’t bulk up.”  He complained as he turned to look at himself in the mirror again.  His metabolism was so high that putting weight on and keeping it on was difficult. 

 

“Honey, do you really want to join the football team or are you doing this because your dad wants you to?” 

 

He snatched his shirt off his bed and shrugged it over his head.  It was mostly his dad’s dream that his boys play football.  His little brother Sam didn’t want to though, so there was a lot of pressure on him to join the team and play.  He dug his toes into the carpet and shrugged.

 

“Dad played.”

 

“I know your dad did.  That does not mean that you have to.  What do _you_ want to do?  Don’t think about what your father wants, or what I want.  Tell me what it is that you want to do when you start high school next week.”

 

“Charlie and me, we were thinking of signing up for drama.”  He replied nervously.  “I don’t think dad would like that though.”

 

“I was in drama.  So was your father.”  She said.  “Don’t let his opinion on anything influence what you decide to do.  Do what makes you happy.”  She walked over and placed a warm kiss on his forehead.  He was nearly as tall as her now.

 

“Dad…was in drama?  Really?”  He couldn’t wrap his brain around that.

 

“He was.  He joined to impress me, but he was in it.  Don’t let him lie and say he didn’t enjoy himself, because he did.  I know you’re not doing it for Charlie, you don’t look at her like that, but I think you’ll both have a lot of fun.”

 

She turned and headed for the door again, pausing when she reached it to look back at him.  “Dinner’s almost done.  There’s pie for dessert.  Go wash up.”

 

He nodded, feeling better than he had in weeks about starting high school.  His mom was right, not everything had to be about making his dad happy.

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first few weeks of high school were a whirlwind of memorizing locker numbers, hallways, classrooms, schedules, and avoiding the upperclassmen that had a cruel streak.  Well, some of them did.  Most of them were indifferent towards freshman.  Dean made new friends with kids that had come in from other schools and a month into the new school year, he and Charlie both auditioned for the new play.  He found a kinship among the other drama club kids, and even the upperclassmen were kind and accepting.  To his surprise he scored a part.  It wasn’t anything major and he didn’t have a lot of lines, but it was exciting and he was thrilled to be a part of everything.  Working with the other actors, eating lunch with them and spending time outside of school rehearsing lines was how he first began to realize he was most definitely not straight. 

                                                                                                         

He’d gone from being rather indifferent towards anyone of any sex to suddenly being unable to take his eyes off one boy in particular.  Castiel was a senior, and most everyone called him Cas.  He was tall, muscular without being bulky, and Dean had heard that he was a runner.  His hair was dark, like chocolate and his blue eyes were bright, intense and penetrating whenever they landed on something or someone.  Dean found himself constantly wishing Cas would look at him, notice him, _see_ him, but even as the play’s performance came and went, he was fairly certain the older boy hadn’t noticed him even once.

 

Another play was scheduled and Dean auditioned again.  He earned a slightly larger part this time, opposite a girl named Cassie who Charlie informed him was interested in him.  Being that she was his best friend, he confessed to her one evening as they were doing their homework at the school library why he wasn’t interested in Cassie in return.

 

“She’s pretty.  I like her hair, and her eyes.”  Charlie said almost dreamily.

 

“Well, I don’t.  I…like someone else.”  He looked around nervously.  The library was pretty full and he didn’t want someone else overhearing them.  Her eyes locked on him and she leaned closer.

 

“You do?  What’s her name?”

 

He bit his lower lip, hesitating for a moment before answering in a whisper.  “His name is Castiel.  He’s a senior.”

 

Charlie gasped, her jaw falling open in surprise.  She looked around but no one was paying them any mind so she leaned close again.

 

“The one playing the ghost of Christmas past in the play?”

 

Dean nodded.  “I know I don’t stand a chance.  I just…I like looking at him.  Even if he never looks at me.”

 

Charlie’s expression turned to one of pity.  He hated when people pitied him.

 

“Dean, he’s missing out, you’re so great!”

 

“I’m a freshman, he’s…a-a man!  He wouldn’t be interested.  I don’t ever expect him to look my way.  But he’s so gorgeous.”  He stuck his elbow on the table and dropped his chin in the palm of his hand.  “That’s why I’m not caring whether Cassie likes me or not.  I might have to pretend to be her husband in the play, but I’m not going to ask her out.  If she asks me out, I’m going to say no.”

 

“You don’t like girls, do you.”  She realized.  He shook his head.

 

“No.  I took you to the dance last year because there were girls that wanted me to ask them, and I didn’t like them like that.  I knew you didn’t have any expectations.”

 

“You’re right, I don’t.  I have a confession too.  I don’t like boys.”  She said.  He blinked in surprise and then smiled.

 

“Maybe you should ask Cassie out then.”

 

She giggled.  “Maybe I will.”

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing?”  Meg asked.     

 

“This doesn’t fit.  It needs to be let out in the legs.”  Cas complained.  “If I try to walk on stage the pants will tear and the audience will get more than they’re paying for.” 

 

She snorted and grabbed the measuring tape to do a new measurement of his legs.  “Maybe if you weren’t built like a damn god this wouldn’t be a problem.”

 

“That’s my crotch!”  He shoved her hand away when she got a little too close for comfort in her measurements but she just smirked and continued her task.

 

“Ok, I’ll get started on getting these let out for you.  At least you’re not wearing clothes after that skinny kid that’s playing Bob Crachit has worn them.  We’d have to invest in a whole new pair of pants in that case.”  She laughed.  Cas frowned.

 

“Skinny kid?  I haven’t much paid attention to who else was cast yet.  And stop insulting other people.  You have a bad habit of doing that.” 

 

She rolled her eyes as she tossed a shirt at him.  Actually it looked more like a rag.

 

“Try that on, make sure it fits.  That’s the shirt for the costume.”

 

He took off his button down and slid the costume shirt over his head.  It was snug but he could move in it.  Meg was assessing it, walking around him as she watched him flexing and moving.

 

“It’s too tight.  I’ll have to let it out a bit.  There’s a jacket to go over it too but a ghost is supposed to have their clothes hang on them, not look like their rags were made to form fit to their curves.  Damn you and your running.”  She muttered.  He snickered as he pulled the shirt off and handed it back to her. 

 

“My running has earned me a scholarship.  Don’t knock it.”

 

“I’ll have these back in a couple of days.  I’m letting out the arms on the jacket too.”  She took the shirt, adding it to the pile of clothes she had to alter and left to go to the sewing room.  He took his time slipping his shirt back on and buttoning it.  The sound of voices reached him, and it sounded like people were rehearsing, so he poked his head around the corner to see who it was.  There was a girl with beautiful caramel skin and a boy with bright green eyes framed by long lashes running lines.  He realized this was the “skinny” kid Meg had been making fun of earlier, and the girl that was playing opposite him.  When the girl moved closer, breaking character and touching the boy’s leg, he stumbled backwards, lines forgotten in his haste to get away from her.

 

“S-sorry, I just…I only want to run lines.  I just came to run the lines.”  He was blushing hard, not able to look her in the eye.  She looked hurt.  Cas took pity on them both, knowing the boy wasn’t interested, and not wanting either of them to become any more uncomfortable than they already were, he stepped out from behind the curtain.

 

“So, running your lines, eh?  Sounded good from where I was standing.  Why don’t you run them again?  This time without touching and breaking character.”  He shot the girl a warning look and she blushed, dropping her eyes and looking away.  The boy was staring at him in shock though, which he thought was a little odd.

 

“What are your names?”  He decided to break the ice a bit.

 

“I’m Cassie.  This is Dean.”  The girl introduced for them both.  Cas offered her his hand and she shook it.  When he offered it to Dean the boy stared for a moment before finally lifting his own to take it.

 

“You alright there, Dean?”

 

“Y-yes!” 

 

The boy was as red as a tomato and not nearly as skinny as Meg had made him out to be.  He was actually a cute kid.

 

“You're playing Marley, right?” Cassie asked. Cas nodded.

 

“I am. Is this your first play?”

 

Dean’s face fell and he looked down at the tops of his shoes.

 

“It's my first. But I'm a part of my local theatre and I've been doing plays for years.” She replied.

 

“What about you, Dean?” Cas asked.

 

“I was in the last one with you.” He muttered. Cas tried to remember where Dean had been but he couldn't place him. Was he that self-absorbed that he couldn't even remember his fellow actors? Judging by Dean's reaction, the answer was yes.

 

“I'm sorry, I have had a lot going on this year with getting my transcripts in order and getting ready for college. You'll see in a few more years.”  

 

“I've gotta run, I have to pick my brother up at the middle school.”  Dean started for the stairs.

 

“Can we practice later?” Cassie called after him.

 

There's a group getting together at Charlie's tomorrow after school. We can run lines then.” He gave a wave and pushed through the doors, leaving the auditorium that doubled as the theater.

 

“I don't think he likes me.” Her shoulders sagged as she sat down on the steps. Cas didn't know to say, or if he should say anything at all. He was positive she was right though.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Cas was cognizant of his fellow actors from that point on. He knew he'd earned a rep for being a snob but it wasn't because he was one. Mostly he was just so incredibly busy that he didn't have time to socialize, and he wasn't that good at it anyway. He liked performing but truth be told, he was an introvert by nature. A Christmas Carol went off without a hitch and he was impressed by what a great job Dean actually did. He found him after the first performance was over to commend him and to his surprise, Dean only got better with each performance. It earned him better roles in the next few plays and then came the senior project.

 

The graduating seniors in theater got to choose a play they wanted to perform, and it was done off campus, that way the school board couldn't intervene and deem it inappropriate if they didn't like what was selected. Last year the seniors had done a rather raunchy rendition of Rocky Horror Picture Show. This year, they were doing Rent. Cas was excited because not only was he in control of casting and had given himself a major role, but he'd been cleared to audition anyone that wanted a part. His stipulation was that they had to be able to sing.

 

He was more than a little surprised when Dean showed up to audition. Meg was helping him select people and she eyed the freshman as he moved to the center of the stage.

 

“Hello, Dean. I was unaware that you could sing.” Cas said. Dean licked his lips nervously and rubbed the palms of his hands on his jeans.

 

“I can. I don't usually though. I love Rent and I think it would be cool to sing in it, so I'm giving it a shot.”

 

“Ok. And what song will you be singing?”

 

“Well, most of the songs require at least two people, so I wasn't sure. I settled on the reprise of I'll Cover You. I'm not sure my voice is deep enough yet.” Dean took a deep breath and nodded. Cas smiled reassuringly. Then the music began.

 

“No way are you casting him as Tom Collins.” Meg said before Dean had even started singing.

 

“I already have Tom cast. This is to show his singing ability, now hush.” He shot her a warning glance before turning his gaze back to the stage in time to hear Dean sing the opening notes.

 

Dean's voice was smooth, beautiful, and he jotted down notes as he listened. It was clear puberty hadn't fully hit yet, and once it did, the boy's voice was likely going to get much deeper. He wished he could be around to hear it. Looking over at Meg he could see that even she was impressed, and that was saying something. She was hard to impress. As the song drew to a close Cas scribbled one last note in his book. He wanted Dean in the play. Where though, he wasn't yet sure.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dean was surprised to get the part of Mark, he thought it would go to one of the seniors, but of all the seniors that had auditioned, none could sing the way Cas wanted them to. Cassie won the role of Mimi and Dean was glad not to have to work opposite her again. Rehearsals were brutal but the play went off without a hitch and the memories Dean was left with were ones that stuck with him for years to come. It actually set him on the path to becoming a drama teacher, which was how, 20 years later, he found his way back to his old high school, taking over the position when his old teacher retired.

 

He stayed friends with Charlie too, and many other people he had met back in high school, especially in theater which he did all four years. Teaching the kids drama and English brought him more joy than he thought possible, and he looked forward to the start of every school year.

 

This particular year he was bringing back the newly mended costumes he'd spent the summer repairing. The school had finally sprung for an actual theater, and when he walked in, his arms loaded down with bags, he spotted a man standing up on the stage.

 

“Can I help you?”  He asked as he climbed the stairs. The man turned to look at him. There was something familiar about those blue eyes, but he couldn't quite place what it was.

 

“I'm sorry, I used to go to school here. We didn't have a theater then, we used the stage in the auditorium. I was just admiring the new space. I'm teaching here now, biology and earth science.”

 

“I am the theater teacher, but I also teach AP English and I run the drama club. My name's Dean. I'd shake your hand but I'm a little busy.”

 

“Oh! Let me help you.” The man rushed forward to grab half of Dean's bags and followed him backstage.

 

“You say you went to school here? So did I. Class of ‘12.” Dean said as he began hanging the costumes up.

 

I was class of ‘09. We probably went to school together. I'm Cas Novak.”

 

Dean dropped the dress in his hands and looked at him in shock. “Cas?”

 

Cas studied his face for a moment before he felt a spark of recognition.

 

“Dean...Winchester?”

 

“Yeah! Wow! I never thought I'd see you again!” Dean didn't think twice about pulling the man into a hug. He wasn't the same awkward, shy boy he'd been 20 years ago. Cas happily hugged him back.

 

“It's good to see you, Dean. Wow, you really grew up.”

 

“Not the scrawny, skinny little kid that sang too high and barely got noticed, eh?” Dean said with a grin as he went back to hanging the clothes up. Cas pitched in, helping him so it went faster.

 

“No, you look completely different. I literally didn't recognize you at all.” Cas looked at him again and this time Dean felt like he was really being seen. “You look really good. How's life treating you?”

 

Dean shrugged as he got the last of the costumes hung up. “Good, I guess. I keep busy with work. I still see some people from school from time to time.”

 

“No wife? No kids?” Cas asked. Dean laughed nervously and rubbed at the back of his neck.

 

“Uh, no. Definitely no wife. I'm gay.”

 

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.” Cas apologized.

 

“It's ok. What about you? What brought you back here?”

 

“I wanted to be closer to my family. My parents are getting up there in age and my sisters can't handle all of the doctor appointments on their own, so I help with things like grocery shopping, driving them to appointments, running errands, that sort of thing. I'm divorced, my daughter is 16 and I have custody. Her mother disappeared into the wind when she was seven, shortly after we divorced. You'll probably have Claire in your classes. She's full of attitude, you can't miss her.” Cas chuckled. Dean grinned as he gathered up the bags he'd brought the costumes back in and stuffed them in a drawer. Cas was even more attractive now than he'd been when they'd been kids, but he was apparently straight. That didn't mean his crush wasn't still trying to rear its ugly head. He just had to ignore it and hope it went away on its own.

 

“I'll keep that in mind. It's not like she'll be the only one with an attitude in my class.” He joked. Cas smiled as he followed Dean back out onto the stage and then down the stairs.

 

“When do you take lunch?” Cas asked.

 

“During fourth period. I usually stay in my classroom though.” Dean replied.

 

“Oh, so you won't be in the teacher's lounge?”

 

“Maybe, if I run out of coffee.” Dean didn't want to torture himself by spending more time around the man. His attraction was growing by the minute and his brain wasn't listening to the fact that Cas was straight.  

 

As they parted ways outside the science hall, Cas reached out to touch his arm, stopping him before he could walk away.

 

“It really is good seeing you again, Dean. I hope I'll see you around more.”

 

Dean smiled weakly and nodded. He was so fucked. It was like high school all over again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Attitude didn't properly describe Claire Novak. She was a moody little shit that talked back every chance she got, until Dean finally put her in her place. She was sarcastic but she had nothing on him, and he nipped it in the bud before September was even halfway over. He'd had worse and to his surprise, she showed up to audition for the first play of the year.

 

Cas, of course, kept coming around too, striking up conversations, hanging around, and offering to help.  It was becoming next to impossible to ignore his attraction to the man when he seemed to always be there, and he was so damn sweet. Dean actually did need the help so it was with great reluctance that he accepted. Everything ran smoothly and the play went off without a hitch. It was a long standing tradition for the kids to go out to celebrate after the last performance of the first play of the year which left Dean to stay behind to clean up and organize.  He turned on his iPod and set about putting everything back where it belonged so he could go home and crash for the weekend.  When the door at the back opened he stuck his head out from the backstage to see who had come in.  His stomach clenched when he saw Cas come walking up the center aisle.

 

“I thought you might still be here.”  He had a bright, happy smile on his face and Dean stepped out onto the stage, grabbing one of the fake bushes to put away.

 

“I didn’t want to come in over the weekend to put stuff away.”

 

“I’m surprised you don’t have the kids cleaning up.”  Cas said as he climbed the steps to the stage.

 

“It was the first play of the year, I told them they could go do their party.  I’m surprised you didn’t know about it, Claire’s with them.”  Dean said as he grabbed another bush and carried them both backstage.  Cas grabbed a tree and followed after.

 

“I did, actually, so I knew you’d probably be here alone.  It’s why I thought I’d come help.  Clean up goes faster when there’s help.”

 

“It does, thanks.”  Dean put the bushes in the storage closet and fit the tree in too.  The rest of the cleanup went much faster with two people than it would have by himself and he actually was grateful for the company.  Cas was easy to talk to, and somehow the conversation turned to movies they both liked.  As Dean grabbed his iPod and coat, and they headed out to the parking lot, they got into a discussion about Rent.  

 

“Rent is still one of my favorites.”  Dean said, smiling.

 

“I don’t see you identifying with Mark as much though.  It’s why you chose a Tom Collin’s song, isn’t it?”  Cas asked.  He could see the faint blush that crossed the man’s face as he nodded.

 

“Yeah.  I was just starting to figure myself out back then, but I knew I was gay.  I identified with Tom.  It was cool though that I got to play Mark.”

 

“I played Roger.  I didn’t identify with Roger.  I just wanted to play rock music.”  Cas laughed.  “And pretend that I could play the guitar.”

 

“Who did you identify with then?”  Dean asked.

 

“Well, minus the whole AIDS thing, I always identified with Tom.  Right down to teaching.  I knew back in high school that I was gay as well, but my parents had certain expectations, and I was struggling with my own identity for a long time.  So, I got married, started a family, but we separated when she was three, divorced when she was seven, and she disappeared after that.  I went for full custody and got it.  It’s been Claire and me for a long time.”

 

Dean stopped walking and turned to look at him.  His head was spinning a bit from this new bit of information.  He’d been struggling with his feelings since Cas had come back, trying to force himself to not care so much about a straight man, and here Cas was, telling him he wasn’t straight at all.

 

“I...thought you were straight.”

 

Cas’ eyebrows rose in surprise.  “Really?  Is that why I’ve been getting the sense that you’ve been avoiding me?”

 

Dean blushed again, cursing his body for betraying him.  “I’m not avoiding you.”

 

“You’ve definitely been avoiding me, and I’ve been wondering why, so I got to talking to Charlie Bradbury on Facebook a few weeks back, and she told me that when we were in high school you had a rather large crush on me.  I feel like a heel for not noticing back then, but I didn’t notice a lot of things back then.  I didn’t date guys until I divorced my wife, so even if I had acknowledged your crush back then, I was so deep in the closet, I never would have gone out with you.  That was on me, not you.  But we’re not frightened high school kids anymore, we’re adults, and I sort of suck at the whole flirting thing, but if you’ll consider not avoiding me from now on, I’d like to take you to dinner.”

 

This was his high school fantasy come true, and he couldn’t help but smile wide.  “When were you thinking?  It’s after midnight now and I’m beat.  Are you free tomorrow?”

 

Cas smiled and took a few steps closer.  “Most definitely.”

 

“We can go out for dinner, or just stay in, if you want.  I make a pretty mean burger.  We could watch movies, kick back and relax.”  Dean’s stomach was all aflutter having Cas this close, knowing the man was interested in him.

 

“I like the idea of spending an evening in with you.”  Cas smiled.  Dean held out his hand.

 

“Give me your phone.  I’ll put in my number and text you my address.”

 

Cas did and after Dean had entered his number and texted his own phone with Cas’ number, he sent his address.  Theirs were the only two cars left in the parking lot, and they were parked side by side, so they made their way over to them.

 

“I figure this was your car, so I parked next to it.”  Cas explained.

 

“My dad gave me his car when I graduated high school.  She’s my pride and joy.”  Dean ran a hand lovingly over the hood of his ‘67 Chevy Impala.  

 

“She’s beautiful.”

 

Cas fidgeted for a moment before licking his lips and moving closer.  Dean watched him, his heart racing as he waited to see what he was going to do.

 

“Cas, do you want to kiss me?”  He asked, his tone slightly teasing and making the other man blush this time.

 

“I was unsure if I would be out of place.  I haven’t even taken you on a date yet, but I’ve been dying for weeks now to ask you out.  You just made it very difficult when you were avoiding me.”  Cas replied, frowning slightly.  Dean tugged on the man’s belt loops and dragged him closer.

 

“Come here and make my teenage fantasies come true.  I thought you were the most gorgeous thing I’d ever laid eyes on back then, and you only got better as time went on.”

 

“That’s rather cheesy, but I’m flattered.  I thought you were a cute kid back then but I really just saw you as a kid.  Now though...you’re gorgeous.  How are you single, Dean?  Seriously?  How are you not snagged by someone smart enough to see how wonderful you are and fall head over heels in love with you?”  Cas asked earnestly.  It got Dean blushing again.

 

“Geez, Cas, I’m not that special.  I was with someone for a long time, but he thought playing the field was a better option for him.  I wanted commitment, so we parted ways after seven years together.  I’ve dated on and off.”

 

“He was a fool.  I’m not that stupid.”  Cas leaned in, bringing their mouths together in a kiss that left Dean feeling dizzy with a mixture of excitement and want.  His jacket slid to the ground as he wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck and let himself be pressed back against his car.  The kiss didn’t last nearly long enough, but it held promises of things to come, and he held tight to that hope as Cas took a step back, smiling wide.

 

“Wow.”

 

“Please tell me there will be more of that tomorrow.”  Dean pleaded.  Cas laughed and nodded.

 

‘I certainly hope so.  Go home now, get some sleep.  I will come by say...six?”

 

“Sounds perfect.”  Dean agreed.  He leaned down to scoop his jacket up and then pulled out his keys to unlock the car door.  Cas walked over to his own car and got in.  With one last wave, they both drove out of the parking lot.  

 

Dean was riding a different kind of high as he went home that night.  This was the start of something new, and he didn’t have to deny his crush any longer because for once, things were in his favor.  His high school crush actually liked him back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I do hope you enjoyed this one. Kudos and comments are always welcome.


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